Balance
by Tara Laurel
Summary: Oneshot. "She couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Not long before this, she had been delightfully ignorant and secretly, a piece of her wanted to retreat back to that illusion. This simply could not be happening, not now, after everything." R&R please!


**A/N: Please READ and REVIEW. Thank you! **

**Balance **

She couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Not long before this, she had been delightfully ignorant and secretly, a piece of her wanted to retreat back to that illusion. This simply could not be happening, not now, after everything. It didn't seem fair or right in any sense, but then again, she was far from imagining the world was ever righteous. She had watched her own parents burn to death as she stood without a scar, helpless. Now, here she was again, watching, knowing the inevitable, but utterly powerless to stop it.

The floorboards underneath her creaked and moaned, as if crying out for this tragedy. They had seen and felt much pain throughout the years, just like her. So much blood had been spilled over them, so many lives had been lost on them. It was a miracle that they were still so strong, that the walls they cradled still stood.

Paige herself could barely stand. Her knees trembled, buckling underneath her frail body. She was thankful in that fleeting moment for the doorway in which she stood, leaning against its side for much needed support. The house that she began to cry in was so accustomed to such emotions it seemed to join in on the sorrow. The shadows appeared to grow darker. The curtains creased to blow gaily in the wind. Even the beloved and ever faithful grandfather clock missed its chimes. The entire structure mourned and anyone who entered could feel the anguish drip from its walls.

Paige continued to lean against the doorway as she witnessed a most terrible event. She found it near impossible to watch, but yet dared now turn away. Silently, she cursed herself for being so appallingly blissful while someone she loved had been experiencing so much pain. It was again the same empty feeling she had possessed as she watched her parents perish in the flames. She had been arguing, selfishly thinking of her own desires as her family was moments away from being torn forever apart. She imagined that most everyone feels that way when they lose someone. You calculate the odds that you could have saved them. You punish yourself for not being there. You examine yourself and your mistakes because it's easier to blame yourself than to face the reality of life and death.

It felt odd, Paige thought, that both should be occurring at the same time. They had been so concerned about getting him home before it happened. Now he certainly wasn't going to be around for it, but that failed to make anyone feel better. One life to balance another, she wondered silently. Still, this was different. She knew logically that they weren't truly losing him, but knowing that fact didn't make the heavy lump in her throat and heart disappear or dry a grieving father's tears.

When people die, those left behind usually have something left to hang on to, to prove that that person was there, that they existed and are now gone. This time though, there was nothing. A body can act as a form of closure for some. When you witness someone being lowered into the ground, there is a sense of finality involved. Paige understood what it was like to lack that. Her parents' bodies were reduced to disfigured forms. There were no filled caskets, no final goodbyes. But she still had tangible items to cling to, to remember them by. She treasured any photograph of them she had and even kept some of their possessions. Again, this time was different. As Paige watched the body of her nephew fade into nothingness, she realized he had left nothing behind for any of them to hold on to. And that was the most empty and most disturbing realization of all.

It wasn't until later that night at the hospital that she finally understood. As she had watched her brother-in-law hold his drying son in his arms, she now witnessed him cradle baby Christopher.

"Looks like we didn't lose him after all," she whispered as the words gained meaning inside her own mind and heart.

She had been wrong all along. Chris did leave something truly amazing behind. He left them with a future they could not look forward to. He left them, with hope.


End file.
